The frenetic pace of farce generation in Nigeria is a columnist's worst nightmare.
I had initially decided to write this week about Isah Yuguda, the CEO of Aides Multipliers Nigeria Plc, after reading that President Yar'Adua's son in-law had fired over a thousand aides, mostly idle personal and special assistants, when the headlines screamed that we had lost another twenty-two lives to a road accident in Kano.
This comes a week after twenty-two members of the same family perished in a previous road accident in Kano, apart from the seventy souls we lost to yet another fatal road accident on the Okene-Auchi-Benin road! I was still trying to settle for one of these two subjects when Dimeji Bankole broke the deadlock.
In his contribution to the so-called Democracy Day celebrations, the House Speaker veered into the question of leadership and good governance - the horse he has been flogging since he got an undeserved Canadian platform to perorate on good governance, only to go and brandish gunboat democracy in Ekiti as soon as he got back to Nigeria.
First the good news: a residue of the mind trained and humanized by Oxford University miraculously managed to come across in the Speaker's Democracy Day message to Nigerians.
He distinguished between rulership and leadership, a key distinction I have sustained in this column, borne out of my conviction that Nigeria neither has leaders nor leadership at the moment.
Then the bad news: Dimeji Bankole adjudged himself a leader who is determined to continue to provide qualitative leadership.
Nigerians deserve leaders and not rulers; hence he and members of his PDP cabal in Abuja will continue to be leaders! Sometimes you can't help but feel truly sorry for Nigeria and Nigerians.
It is not enough that our country and state are in the hands of totally visionless and corrupt characters, they must insult our intelligence by continuously invading the space of public meaning with an untidy combination of solipsism, sophistry, and conceptual malapropism.
One recalls that in March 2008, former Deputy Senate President, Alhaji Ibrahim Mantu, had publicly humoured himself by declaring that "the good ones among us" are "honestly embarrassed" by the state of the country. Yes, Mantu included himself among Nigeria's "good leaders"! I wrote an op-ed at the time asking Alhaji Mantu if he had forgotten that he even looted Allah after looting Nigeria: as Amirul Hajj in 2005/2006, he had supervised the disappearance of a hefty bunch of American dollars in Mecca.
If examples of Nigeria's rulers grandstanding as leaders in the public sphere are legion, Dimeji Bankole's take on the issue is important because he is the first, as far as I know, to have paid attention to nuance by acknowledging the difference between leader and ruler.
By the same token, he is acknowledging the struggle for meaning between the ruler and the ruled. If Mr. Bankole looks around in Abuja and sees only leaders and leadership, he needs to urgently dust his Oxford notebooks and reacquaint himself with what his professors taught him about the characteristics of leadership.
I am sure they did not teach him that you could waddle through one giant corruption scandal after the other - Peugeot contract scam now safely under the carpet, alleged involvement in Rural Electrification Agency contract scams - and still get to define leadership for your country.
I am sure no one in Oxford taught him that he could make his predecessor, Patricia Etteh, look like an apprentice looter and still get to imagine himself a leader.
Let's be clear: Dimeji Bankole is not a leader. He is not even on the track to earning that designation. Although they are not there yet, Babatunde Fashola and Sullivan Chime are working hard to earn that descriptor - leaders - from the people of Nigeria.
And they are not doing yeye ego talk: just working and avoiding corruption scandals. Mr. Bankole will eventually earn those funny PDP designations by merit: chieftain and stakeholder.
Let him humour himself with those. The PDP and the ruling class have won the struggle to define and invent stakeholders and chieftains and no one is quarrelling with them over that.
Expectedly, they have bastardized the two. Any charlatan with access to a good tailor who can sew a babanriga or an agbada in Abuja, immediately begins to call himself chieftain and stakeholder.
We, the people, have lost everything to our rulers in Abuja. Let's not concede the true meaning of leadership to them. They don't get to define that.


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