The gods of our fathers

"Through the ages the African appears to have evolved no organized religious creed, and though some tribes appear to believe in a deity, the religious sense seldom rises above pantheistic animalism and seems more often to take the form of a vague dread of the supernatural"

---Frederick John Dealty Lugard, The Dual Mandate (1926)

I want to tell you some stories, in a backward chronological order.

The church and the reporters

Yesterday morning two members of NEXT were assaulted by people masquerading as Christians in Moutain of Fire and Miracles over photographs that were taken during a church service. The assault happened in the house of God, and going by the very first response on the story as it was written on NEXT's website, not too many 'Christians' see violence perpetrated by other 'Christians' under a roof which serves as a house of worship as wrong. The question here is, "What would Jesus do?"

The pastor and the thief

There is an interesting video on NEXT's multimedia pages showing an alleged thief being beaten by a mob. The incident happened on Monday morning as this fellow was on his way to work. He noticed a mob in hot pursuit of some unfortunate geezer at Obalende and his journalistic instincts took over. He whipped out his camcorder, and went with the crowd, just in time as the man being pursued was caught and subjected to a beating. Shouts of "ole" rent the air each time a blow landed. Two things struck this writer. First two policemen came over one after the other, took a look at what was happening, and walked away like it was none of their business. Please bear in mind that this incident happened close to Kam Salem House, where less than a month ago, someone had been left to die without any help.

The other thing that was noted was that there was an elderly fellow who was rather loud in his demands that tyres be brought forward so that the 'thief' would be set ablaze. It turned out that the elderly fellow was the victim of the robbery, as his N11000 was taken from his pocket. After satisfying themselves, the mob searched the 'thief', and finding nothing on him to suggest that he had up to stated amount, saner heads prevailed and he was taken to the Onikan Police Station. This journalist followed.

At the police station, the 'thief' was subjected to even more beating before questions were asked. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to interview him on camera, but I was allowed to ask him questions. His name is Sikiru, and according to him, he did not steal the money. Where his story fell flat however, is that he claimed to be a bus conductor, but when asked who his driver was, he did not know any drivers. That earned him a few more slaps from the police (one of whom was translating as this writer has very limited Yoruba vocabulary).

However, I was allowed to take the accuser (the elderly man who wanted the thief burnt) outside for an interview. When I asked him to state his name for the benefit of the interview, he began, "My name is Pastor..."

The people and the egg

A few weeks ago, I told my little lady that the surest way to avoid rape in Nigeria is for a girl to wear some jigida beads just over her underpants, and string the jigida with some feathers and if possible a horn to boot. She found it funny, but I am deadly serious. I can guarantee that if area boys or any of the many unemployed and unemployable miscreants we find populating our city streets assault a girl with the intention of rape, her best protection would be the placebo of coral beads and some feathers. A horn added to the equation might be overkill, but if it helps, why not?

To buttress this point, I tried an experiment. At a junction near the Lagos High Court at Igbosere, I carefully dropped a N500 note in a very cheap plastic bowl (I could not get a calabash). With the money in the bowl, I placed a boiled egg, and some coral beads. Then I traveled eastward for a wedding. Upon my return, I checked the bowl, and all the contents were still there. As a control experiment, I had left N200 'carelessly' at a point in Yaba. That was gone.

A lot about the mindset of our people maybe?

The looters and Uncle Bob

A few years ago, Eki Oba in Benin had its annual fire. Why Eki Edo and Eki Oba catch fire with an alarming sense of routine is a story for another day. What is interesting to note however is that for some reason, whenever they catch fire, goods do not get looted. Well, except for the Eki Oba fire of 2005. This time, people went into stalls and looted.

In the aftermath of the looting, many traders were ruined, and an appeal was made first by J.J. Longe, a pentecostal pastor for looters to please return the stolen goods. The man was ignored. In their turn, the Catholic archbishop of Benin, the Anglican bishop and the chief imam all came on air and appealed to the looters to please respect God and return what they had stolen. The reasoning was that God was watching, and if you destroyed people's lives, you would certainly reap what you had sown.

Still, there was silence.

A few days after the fire, Osamede Adun (whom we all know and love as Bob Izua) led a delegation of traders to the Oba Palace in Benin, and sacrifices were made. Then it was announced that the sacrifices had been made to Ayelala, probably the most ruthless deity of the Binis. According to the legend, Ayelala was a slave woman who was wrongfully killed, and took her vengeance on her killers from the grave. She was then made a goddess, and has proven to be an effective one at resolving disputes. It was to this deity that sacrifices were made, and Bob Izua announced that the looters had seven days within which to return the stolen goods or, "anything wey dem see, make dem take am as dem see am".

For seven days, the pile of returned goods at Ring Road in Benin kept getting higher and higher...

Epilogue

Albino Cardinal Luciani once took a stone from a pond, broke it in two pieces, and showed the dry insides to his audience. He then proceeded to draw an analogy with Christians in Europe. His words, "This stone has been in this water for a very long time, but the water has never managed to get to the inside of the stone. That is how Christianity is in Europe. The men of Europe have been surrounded by Christianity for thousands of years, but it has not gotten to their hearts."

This is very much the same situation as exhibited by the members of MFM in their treatment of the NEXT journalists, by the 'pastor' who wanted the thief burnt, by the people who showed a lot of respect to some money because it was placed in the same container with an egg, and by the looters in Benin, who listened to Ayelala, but not to Jesus or Mohammed. Christianity (and dare I say Islam) have been with the people of Nigeria for close on two centuries, but the truth is this, the gods of our fathers are winning the war.