Becoming a role model for your child

Emotions: Understand – don’t take a stand

Children who don’t know how to control their anger are more likely to fight. Teach children how to calm down and talk over their problems. Tips for keeping cool and solving a problem:

• Keep in mind that anger is real, butit usually goes away.

• To calm down, think about or do things you enjoy.

• Once you have calmed down, think about the problem with a clear head.

• Take steps to solve the problem.

Communication is a two-way street

Children who have good communication with their parents are more likely to ask for their advice than turn to peers. When talking to your child, always remember to:

• Listen to your child.

• Find out what your child knows about violence and how to prevent it before you start talking.

• Let your child know he/she can always talk to you about anything.

Respect: Teach them what it means

Many young people fight because they feel disregarded and, as a result, feel angry, humiliated, or embarrassed. To stay violence-free, respect means:

• Give respect so you may get respect.

• Stand up for yourself without putting yourself in danger.

• Discuss ways to solve problems without fighting.

• Respect is not gained by physical force or intimidation, but by the quality of your character.

• Fighting doesn’t solve a problem or get you respect.

Education: Everyone benefits

Take interest in your child’s education and development:

• Read to your child and encourage your child to read.

• Meet with your child’s teachers often and learn about your child’s progress.

• Review homework and tests.

• Set short- and long-term educational goals together and help your children reach their goals.

• Give your child household responsibilities/chores.

• Children who aren’t interested in school, who have friends who use alcohol/drugs, and who are not bound by rules are more likely to use alcohol/drugs.

• Let your child know you disapprove of drug use, including alcohol, and why.

Save your child from bullying

• Instil self-confidence in your child.

• Help your child establish good social skills.

• Teach your child to speak out for him or herself.

• Teach your child to seek, if harassed, help from you and other caring adults.

• Try to meet with the bully to work things out. If the problem continues, call for a meeting of all those involved.

Prevent your child from becoming a bully

• Present yourself as a model of nonviolent behaviour.

• Clearly state that violence is not acceptable.

• Assist your child in finding nonviolent strategies for anger management and conflict resolution.

• Seek help from mental health/school counsellors to help stop bullying and aggressive behaviour.

Seeing violence through a child’s eyes

Children who have seen violence are more likely to become involved in violence as victims or perpetrators. You can:

• Minimise your child’s exposure to violence.

• Tell your child that media violence is not real – it is glamorised, misleading, and fails to depict the real pain and suffering of the victims.

• Talk to your child about the violence he or she witnessed.

• If you see changes in your child, after they’ve witnessed a violent act, talk to a mental health professional.

• Some warning signs of emotional distress related to witnessing violence include sleeplessness, lack of appetite, lack of attention, anxiety, and frequent thoughts or flashbacks of the event.

Be a role model

• Warm family relationships protect children from violence and many other risky behaviours.

• Be aware that everything you do, your children see and do.

• Talk to them and, most important, listen to them.

• Spend valuable time with them that includes fun activities.

• Find out who their friends are and if they are a positive influence.

• Find out where they hang out and make sure it’s safe.

• Let them know you disapprove of fighting.

• Keep your children “drug and violence-free.”

*Culled from http://www.articlealley.com