It’s all about the Benjamins (Part 2)

Last week I started writing about the seven habits I admire in Benjamin, the young man who started out as my family’s driver but has become my valued aide and muse.

Before the piece went to print, I explained to him that it’s always a good thing to share experiences and philosophies, as you never know how you could change someone’s view of life for the better. When I showed him the article in the paper he was pleased to see that his ideas were considered important enough to appear in print.

In Part 1

I detailed three of Benjamin’s habits: Habit 1 – he listens far more than he speaks, Habit 2 – he minds the company he keeps and Habit 3 – he is disciplined with his money. Along the way I noticed that his habits are closely linked. For instance, the story under Habit 3 was about how he admired his then-girlfriend’s penny-pinching ways and saw it as similar to his own behaviour. This led him to decide that the relationship was worth pursuing, and the girlfriend ended up as his wife.

Apparently, Benjamin’s disciplined approach to managing his finances (Habit 3) extended to his choice of what company he keeps, in this case, his life partner. (Habit 2.)When I asked him later why his wife’s culture of saving was so important to him, he said “Money builds families.” That sounded a bit harsh to me; what happened to love and trust and all the other intangible elements of family life? But I kept my opinion to myself because I believe that everyone has a different take on life, based on their past experiences. Anyway, on to his other four habits I admire.

Habit 4: he is independent

“I don’t like to ask people for things” Benjamin said. “I will rather manage what I have than borrow.” “What’s wrong with borrowing?” I asked. “People will know everything about you” he replied. “They will know when you have and when you don’t have. But the thing I hate most about borrowing...” – and this had me in stitches by the way – “...is that if the person who always used to borrow you something comes to talk to you, even if you’re tired you must talk to him. But if you don’t borrow from him, when you see him coming you can enter your house and close your door.” Clearly, Benj does not like being beholden to anyone.

Habit 5: he is patient

If habit number 3 - being disciplined enough to stick to his financial plans - is not an indication of patience, I don’t know what is. “My money has a plan” he explained. No matter what happens, unless it is an emergency, I must use my money for what I plan initially. Anything else must wait. My DVD player spoiled since how many months but I will not buy another one because it is not part of the plan. I won’t die if I don’t watch DVD.”

Delayed gratification is one thing that a lot of people - myself included - are struggling to put into practice these days; we want what we want, and we want it right now. We are even prepared to write post-dated cheques to acquire them. This is what leads us down the bumpy credit path and onto the highway of debt. Once again, this habit links to Habit 3 (disciplined with money.) Having said this, I must admit that Benjamin’s patience is not often on display when he’s driving on the crazy Lagos roads.

Habits 6 & 7: he is hardworking & reliable

Never one to shy away from any assignment, Benj claims he is hardworking because that was how he grew up in the village. Anyone who’s familiar with villages knows that life is an endless round of farming, harvesting and lugging produce to the market to be sold. “When I was in the village, I had to struggle to get things for myself,” he said. “No one will give you anything. I don’t want to lack so I work hard to get things for myself.” Made sense. “So why are you reliable?” I asked. His answer: “My yes has to be yes so that I don’t lose opportunities. If something good comes and they are looking for people, if I am not reliable they will say “forget about that guy, he’s not reliable.” I don’t want people to say that about me.”

I observed these traits over a period of four years. It’s been an interesting journey, tearing away the layers of stereotype - ‘drivers cannot be trusted / ‘female employers are wicked’ - and breaking the employee/employer barrier to get to know the person within. It just goes to show that if we are looking for inspiration we may not need fancy leadership books about foreign achievers; we can learn from the people around us if we take the time to get to know them.