The issue of expensive weddings

Few would argue,despite the insistence of the media to the contrary, that Nigeria isstill a country protective of its culture. According to these optimists, we are hardly affected by the cultures of the West. We stillrespect our elders. Our ladies still know how to cook soup without a cookbook and two out of every three Nigerians, at least, understand onelocal dialect.

Whilst these points are undeniably true, there is no escaping the fact that most peopleprefer the casual securing feel of a pair of jeans to the airy caress of wrapper and most girls today prefer the stifling heat ofwestern-like straight hair than the curly joys found with natural hair-do. But if these options are to be considered as merely cosmeticand hardly of significance, there is the rather alarming western tradition that has crept into our shores; the problem of expensivemarriages.

A few decades ago, marriages were rather straightforward. Two families would meet anddiscuss the terms to be agreed on. More often than not the decision on the bride price was settled based on how delicious the bride looked. Ifshe looked really attractive, then 50 tubers of yam was required. If she was old and a bit dry then less would be asked from the unfortunatehusband. Such were the standards of the day. Weddings did not require that people had a lot of money. It just required that you had a healthyfarm.

The same cannot be said today. Hundreds of weddings take place every weekend in the cityof Lagos. From the island to the mainland, brides are driven in cars carrying the “About to wed” tags. Most times the bride can be found tobe beaming, delighted with the fact that she is about to begin a new home. The husband, on the other hand, usually has a hidden scowl. Inhis head he is doing the maths of his new adventure and the numbers are hardly pleasing.

How much does a wedding cost today? Well, if you’re going for the average approach — asimple ceremony followed by a reception in a hotel with 300 guests, then your budget will most likely mount up to somewhere betweenN700,000 to N1 million. Accommodation alone will cost you about N50,000. And that is only after you and your wife have broken intotears in front of the frustrated hotel manager. Feeding is an entirely different matter.

Although many people do attend weddings in order to celebrate the union of the brideand groom, a lot more go to enjoy the meals served during the receptions. In the past, traditional marriages did not have to worryabout food. With yams easily available in the farms behind and firewood aplenty, the cost of a wedding was measured more in terms of themanpower required to prepare for it.

Unfortunately, the same rules do not apply for modern marriages. If a couple is braveenough, then they can seek the assistance of their relations or friends in cooking the meals which will be used for the wedding reception.However, this is fast becoming a less explored option. As experience has shown, too many things can go wrong with this idea, one of which isthe bride arriving late to her wedding smelling of firewood.

Many insist that the tradition of large celebrations is very much a part of our culturebut most fail to realise the difference between the past and present methods. In the past, celebrations involved the drinking of palm wineand sharing of food, two things that were relatively in abundance.

Modern weddings have to account for expensive additions such as weddinggowns, wedding cakes and the all important wedding band. But despite the problem faced with spending so much on a union that is bound toonly require more money, the trend appears likely to stay.

Come the next weekend, couples will once again spend a significant portion of theirsavings on hiring canopies and paying for meals. The general opinion is simple. Weddings are supposed to be happy events so why not spend allthat money? You only get married once. After that you have the rest of your life to make up for it.

Is it understandable logic? Perhaps.

Is it one that is correct? Well…. the non-existent honeymoons thereafter certainly do not make it so.