Abrakadabra Nigeria Limited

Oga me, I remain loyal sir. How runs and how country? Nor vex say I comot for phone any how last week, security tight for here nor be small.

E be like say man pikin dey climb high tension wire sef sometimes. If you wan shit, madam go follow you go toilet. I never see this kain thing before.

Zazu, na you be oga now o, nor be me again o. na you dey chop for king palace, dey talk for king palace and dey deliver message for king and im queen, na so life be.

Oga nor be so atall atall, I don tell you how runs be for Saudi...I nor fit risk my life for here, e nor dey hard them to cut man throat for here not to talk of parrot.

So wetin dey, how come una nor come again last week after everybody dey wait say madam go bring oga come?

Oga forget matter, you don see where fowl grow teeth before, abi you don see where lion chop grass, abi you don see where snake bite tortoise?

Na waoh, naim be say oga nor dey come anytime soon be that?

Nor be my mouth you go hear say cooked yam nor fit germinate. But oga I dey miss home sha. I dey see as our people dey suffer and this job for Saudi don dey vex me.

And this one wey Ota farmer don go yari for Abuja so, job wan finish be that sef.

Zazu, true true, wetin madam talk after im here say Ota farmer don abandon them and throw presido under the bus?

Oga you for see hospital that day. Everywhere scatter, madam dey rake like who gbogbomo thief im pikin.

E call Ota farmer yeye amala-gbegiri-ewedu efulefu man. Na so dem quick quick call me, say Zazu how we go handle this matter now? Well I come tell them say dem nor just fit lie down dey let Ota farmer make that kind statement, say make dem rubbish the man, make dem talk say na lie lie man.

Afterall nor be the man put all of us for this gbege so. Anyway sha, I sure say you don dey see my handwork for national dailies and television.

Na waoh. Who and who dey come Saudi come see oga this days?

E nor pass six people wey madam dey open door for o. But na so phone calls dey come left righ and center every day, my left ear nor dey too hear again as I don receive phone calls tire.

All of them want money make dem nor remove oga for power. The kind amount wey dem dey mention dey make my leg shake. All these our people na proper thief man dem be sha. Madam don turn to cash cow finish.

So, Zazu my guy - my ogbonge friend...Oga, you don dey make me fear o, anyway wetin you want?

Eh, I just dey think say how man go fit make money from this cash cow na, before things baje, since na you be the middle man for Saudi na make we do runs na.

Oga Saudi money hot pass goldsmith fire o. You go fit handle am so?

Zazu, I don tire. No petrol, no light...this nor be country for poor man. I go wear something for my hand receive money from any deal wey we do jare.

Ok, make I think the matter well. E be like say we fit do runs. I hear say madam dey look for spiritualists now.

Which one be spiritualist again?Oga, abeg nor fall my hand. Spiritualist na serious native doctor wey dey speak in tongue.

Ah ah, we get them plenty for my village na. Native doctor boku and rain makers sef plenty.

Oga you yab o. You nor fit be native doctor? Wetin dey worry you sef. I don already get name for our business, Abrakadabra Nigeria Limited, because wetin my eye dey see for Saudi na ogbonge abracadabra, the more you see the less you understand.

Wetin you suppose do now na to begin grow biabia like salah ram, rub powder and begin burn incent for your house, so that I go suggest to madam to send im boys come meet you.

I go give you some kind information wey nobody else get, you go take am razodazo the people...before you know wetin dey happen, na presidential jet dem go take bring you come Saudi.

Make sure say you arrange your house like native doctor own o, this nor be mugu work o. Even sef go butcher shop make dem rub cow blood for your white agbada, and make you learn how to talk jazz. The day wey dem go come, put onions for your eyes, make your eye red well well o.

Zazu Zazu my guy! We are made. But wait o, I nor fit make money from woman wey im husband dey sick?

You nor serious oga, I nor sure say hunger don wire you proper. So e good as dem dey make money from our country wey im president dey sick? If you nor go do business let me know make call Colonel Zain.

This year nor be year of poverty for me o. Me and poverty don tear our agreement paper. Let me know when you wake up from your yeyerity.