EXCUSE ME: Honest visa application (HVA)

How more honest can an application be?

This is a true though not vocal expression of most nigerians. Its amazing may our strong change oh.

This is refreshingly honest.

How sad! You make me wan to cry. O boy, nor let dis ppl seize ur kpali-o! Na their YA..H u open for public so. I don talk am b4, but ppl nor dey understand, u can't give what u don't have . one day one day mankey go go market e nor go return. wen our ppl eye clear, dem go know say Oyibo ppl nor really get anything to offer...but wickedness, hatred, envy and destruction. Love nor really dey their dictionary. I hope dem go read and learn from dis application. U b ur Papa pickin. Let d fire burn

VIC MY MAN, THIS WONT WORK...THEY ARE OVER 5 MILLION AFRICANS PENNING THIS SORT OF LETTERS IN...YOU HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE

this is sooo touching. i dont think anything has moved me more and to think some pple still pay for visas only to end up being denied.....it is absolutely preposterous

i hate this article but its is the stark painful truth about Nigeria. i hate it and it really hurts.

Spot on! let the silenced be heard

And as we speak there are millions of people filling out forms at internet cafes trying to get the hell out of this country cos its not getting any better.

True!

My brother, you have said it all. keep it up!

Vic, the funny thing is that at the High Commissions you'll find a mixed bag. Those who are very happy to enjoy the trappings of Nigeria and those who actually hate being posted to Nigeria because there is no freedom of movement - by that I mean they can not go out at night without the fear of being attacked by robbers or worse kidnappers. There are also quite a few of them in visa rackets in there. A few years ago they were uncovered and sent back home at leas at the BHC. People want to leave Nigeria because our govts have failed us. Others because they are too lazy and believe europe is the best.

Mr E, You remain my favourite writer here. I enjoyed this piece, took me back to when I worked in McD's as a 17yr, I was a supervisor to a qualified Nigerian Doctor. It was heart breaking for me then... I liked this. Well done.

A very candid submission no doubt. Indeed this is the story of a huge percentage of Nigerians in diaspora. What we have to endure in order to gain an education or whatever other reason took us outside our shores. The foolish people think they're doing us a favor, but they forget that but for the immigrants, more of their parents and children would have died from neglect. What hurts is the shamelessness of our so called leaders, evil men and women who have no thought for the future or their fellow citizens. But like the phoenix, we will rise from the ashes of corruption and backwardness.

An epitome of what goes on here and there. The letter exposes the ordeal our people go through. Anyway, life must continue, until the desired change comes in Nigeria.

Many people still end up doing the most annoying job (that they probably never do in their homes) - it is called KP "Kitchen Porter". They wash plates, pots, pans, cutlery.....you name it in large quantities for meagre sums. Gosh!!! Need i say more

Honestly this is so touching. And it replicates the desperados Nigerians pass through all in the effort to jet out of our own dear native land. You need to go to some of these embassies and witness the treatment being meted out to fellow country men and women. Most of the embassies will leave Nigerians to vagaries of the elemental weather. Men, women and children are pushed, shoved around and in most cases abuse them, all in their effort to procure visa. Eighty percent of the applications are turned down for no genuine reason. This is after collecting of non refundable fees. A particular embassy collection one hundred and ten thousand naira and will house the money for three months before refunding it. the scenario is that if you travel to the country and have no issues and come back at the stipulated time you will collect your deposit but that will be after 90 days, being the expiration period of your visa. Please help me calculate N110, 000 into 200 applicants and fixed at the rate of 15% for 3 months. That is the bad situation that we are seeing just because things are not working fine in our country. Even when you get to these countries, the condition of living for these Nigerians is so despicable. apart from the social amenities that are working, Nigerians live in most inhuman conditions, do all forms of dehumanizing jobs, pay through their anus for housing, electricity and sundry facilities. I was an eye witness recently in one of these countries and i wonder what i will still be doing in that country when I will living like a king in Nigeria by doing any kind of job or trade. The worst id that after sounding some Nigerians on what they are still doing in such clime they will tell you that they can never come back except if they have made. And to make it in such countries are not easy except you engage in criminal activities. Of course the host countries have already branded Nigerians as criminals and treat every one of them as such; even the very good ones are also classified as rogues. The only way out is for our rulers(not leaders) to make the Nigeria project work by providing enabling environment for the realization of diverse potentialities of many budding country men and women. No amount of verbal re-branding will elevate the image of the country than providing jobs, power, and good roads; make for functional school system, shelter and a host of others. That is the crush of the matter and only way out.

Honestly this is so touching and a witty piece for that matter. It replicates the desperados Nigerians pass through all in the effort to jet out of our own dear native land. You need to go to some of these embassies and witness the treatment being meted out to fellow country men and women. Most of the embassies will leave Nigerians to vagaries of the elemental weather. Rain and sunshine will beat them from morning till evening. Men, women and children are pushed, shoved around and in most cases abuses are rained on them, all in their effort to procure visa. Eighty percent of the applications are turned down for no genuine reason. This is after collecting non refundable visa fees. A particular embassy collects one hundred and ten thousand naira and will house the money for three months before refunding it. They call it deposit. The scenario is played out thus, if you travel to the country and have no issues and come back at the stipulated time you will collect your deposit but that will be after 90 days, being the expiration period of your visa. Please help me calculate N110, 000 into 200 applicants and fix it in a bank at the rate of 15% for 3 months. That is the bad situation that we are seeing just because things are not working fine in our country. Even when you get to these countries, the condition of living for these Nigerians is so despicable. Apart from the social amenities that are working, Nigerians live in most inhuman conditions, do all forms of dehumanizing jobs, pay through their anus for housing, electricity and sundry facilities. I was an eye witness recently in one of these countries and I wonder what I will still be doing in that country when I will be living like a king in Nigeria by doing any kind of job or trade. The worst is that after sounding some Nigerians out on what they are still doing in such clime they will tell you that they can never come back except if they have made it big. Some have stayed close to a decade and have not seen native land since their departure. And to make it in such countries are not easy except you engage in criminal activities. Of course the host countries have already branded Nigerians as criminals and treat every one of them as such; even the very good ones are also classified as rogues. The only way out is for our rulers(not leaders) to make the Nigeria project work by providing enabling environment for the realization of diverse potentialities of many budding country men and women. No amount of verbal re-branding will elevate the image of the country than providing jobs, power, and good roads; make for functional school system, shelter and a host of others.This will make us to stop cheapening ourselves in these embassies in name of quest for visa. It will also make many Nigerians langushing in tatterd pernury outside the country to come back home as there is no place like home. That is the crux of the matter and only way out.

This is a fine satirical piece. I have read a couple of your articles and I must confess, I think you are quite talented. May the ink never dry from your pen. As for the subject matter, you quite eloquently captured what a plethora of Africans in the diaspora go through, after they receive their Visas from the foreign visa officers who think they are doing the Africans a favour. These foreign officers enjoy lives they can only dream of back in their respective countries. To paraphrase a Yoruba adage 'You cannot move forward, yet to go back is impossible' . This is the condition a lot of Africans in the diaspora find themselves in because of the natural disasters that call themselves our 'leaders'.

U resemble Obama o. My people look am well. Honest article.

funny piece!Cannot agree with you more!Apt.

I do agree with the writer on the issues related to the way some countries treatment of Nigerian citizens who apply for Visas at their embassies etc., and we should investigate this extraneous exploitation vigorously. The impact of the Diaspora on the Nigerian Macro Economy: It also is interesting to note that most of these people that the writer is putting down are the ones that are supporting their families and indirectly the economy in Nigeria with the money that they are able to send back home. According to facts that have been published all over the internet, up to $10 Billion US dollars was remitted to Nigeria in 2008, this is not taking into consideration the monies that were not remitted through the banks but sent by mail and those which people take by themselves to Nigeria. The Nigerian Banks also make a fortune from the transaction fees associated with this transfers. http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5455809-146/story.csp 10,000,000,000.00 USD = 1.5 +/- Trillion Nigeria Naira I feel we should use this medium to bridge positive interactions between Nigerians globally, rather than putting ourselves down. FA

Mind blowing article

3 masters degree? you need just one to qualify to leave nigeria for good and come over to the UK :-)

Victor this is the best article i have read in a long time. It's so apt and is the true reflection of things with the embassies and our brethren in the diaspora. I agree with you totally. Keep up the good work.

@FA....you are a big HYPOCRITE!

Spot on! Need i say more?

you have hit the nail on head with this, its all the facts as you can ever imagine they are but they are all very true!!

Why not write about the Nigerians working as Doctors, teachers, pharmacist, realtors, business owners and all abroad.Majority of Nigerians I know here in the U.S are professional earning what you in Nigeria can only dream of. Also, I see Americans doing the so called "low paying job" and they are happy doing it.

true talk son.there's more for them to gain by giving you visa.

@Felix, u just keep deluding yourself about how much you earn, do u think if u bring a $1000 to 9ja it makes a difference anymore like it used to?! Tell me do u dream of earning N9 million naira per annum (which is what i earn minus some other allowances)? and I am a young nigerian professional (not some phony politician), who after leaving school applied for a job went for the test was interviewd and passed very well. U forgot to add that though u earn in dollars u also spend/pay in dollars!!!

And the writers point is what?

If all of us running off to America or whatever to be so miserable there came back and found ways to fight for justice in this nation, wouldn't we be better off? Good piece Victor!

I am sorry but your visa request has been denied. Your bank statement is too much. You earn over a million naira and you are not a politician. You have only one wife and you are nigerian??Obviously a lie! And you didnt add the picture of the person you are going to visit,tell me the exact and real reason for coming to america(which is to sleep with white girls and dilute our race!). Please note that you cant appeal this decision and I have the right to refuse you visa even when you are a honest applicant!

@Ngz, Felix is right to ask him to write about professionals rather than talk about 'low income earners'. How much is N9 Million per annum that you are so proud to flaunt as a young professional? Young professionals in the UK earn an average of 2Million Naira per month. Even when you work in supermarkets,@ 10pounds per hour, you roughly earn 250,000Naira in a month after tax. Can you ever dream of earning that as a supermarket attendant in Nigeria. You are just lucky to be part of the few people who earn above 5 Million Naira per annum.

@Ngz, i strongly believe u're the one deluding yourself wake up!, Well spoken Felix, Mary, and "Visa Section Officer John Smith" lol. How sadly true this article is, it is painful to note that the developed countries need third world countries (like Naija)to remain in this dilapidated condition in other to take advantage of us (in anyway do so pls) and more painful that our government are so engrossed in enriching themselves to see beyond their nose. At the end it is all man for himself and God for all.

Victor just to let you know, it is not only Nigerians that do the menial jobs. All immigrants usually from 3rd world nations and some locals does it. We should not overflog this issue. It seems that you might have been involved too or you know some Naijas doing some of these job because your article is correct. I will like to tell you that if one is dedicated to one's job and have a family sky might be the limit. Thus, I will give examples of just 2 Canadians. Mr. A worked for my company for 18 years as a bus driver. He quit last year for another company. He was on $16/hour when he resigned.He's finished paying off his mortgage about $250,000 8 years ago. He also has a cottage house in a town by the lake. We have so many lakes in Canada.He travels to Cuba or Dominican Republic every January or February for holiday for 2 weeks. When I wanted to buy my car early last year, he said I should come and buy his-Ford Explorer 2005. I did not anyway. He finished paying off the loan on the car last year September. He is 60 plus and has a wife who works for the government. That is what most of those who envy him says...his wife works for the government. Example 2-Mr. B repairs or services dry cleaning equipments-especially washing machines at commercial level in most cases. He travels all over Alberta province and sometimes to Saskatchewan and BC. He told me that only 3 of his type are in Alberta province and he is not bragging. He is in high demand. He has more than half a million dollars in the bank. He charges so much an hour for repairs and mileage. Won`t like to mention it here. Victor I would advise that you also write about Nigerians at home that expect so much from us here. They always tell you, look beyond your professional skills. Export cars to Nigeria as if it is for free. 'Let's buy some used laptop for sale in Nigeria' and they will not talk about financing. We need more Nigerians here in Canada, Victor. So write about Nigerians going to invest in Canada or US or England. Though, we have professionals but we lack the business people. Tell Nigerians, Oxford Street in London, England is the longest highbrow street in Europe and we have little or no Nigerian businesses on the street. Whereas we have the Asians. Here in Canadaa, we have so many Koreans owning hotels and motels. We have so many standard restaurants owned by the Japanese and Indians. Chinese restaurants are at every corner. Let some Nigerian business men leave their comfort zones and relocate. The Indians, the Koreans, the Chinese and the Taiwanese does. We should not behave as if we can only strive where the rule of law does not work like in Nigeria. Where import duties are waived or reduced simply because we know someone in Government. @Ngz I think you are quite lucky. There are tens of first class graduates in Nigeria that has no job. And how much do you pay as tax to the governemnt on the N9MM that you earn? I know how much I pay to the CRA-Canadian Revenue Agency each month and you will marvel if I should tell you. Not to talk of EI (Employment Insurance) and CPP (Canadian Pension Plan). EI max is $731.79 while CPP max is $2118.60 in 12 months. Some of us fall into the maximum deduction bracket. Victor please encourage Nigerians to relocate to Canada, England, Australia and if they can get visa lottery to the States, good luck. Tell them that they must be ready to study when they get to these countries. Justice Sonia Sotomayor, the first Hispanic American Supreme Court justice appointed by Obama said it. Education is the key. Former American Secretary of State, Madaleine Albright, said the same thing...'education is the only thing that can take you into the middle class. It frees you of insecurity.' Thanks and God bless.

Good article but let's not try and tell the journalist how to do his job or try and over-analyse the article. Make we no carry am for head like government work.

@NGZ, be sure to check on google how much a physician assistant pay is in America.Pls compare that to your 9million naira with no Electricity, water, good road, and polluted air. America is great bcos the system recognises little people(low level workers) and we beleive in dignity of labor.

@NGZ, I am so happy that you are one of the lucky few in Nigeria. I wish you a good life!

Good job Mr Victor.Really good job..I wonder why Nigerians never feel this way.

ngz u are really ill informed 'young nigerian proffessional ' indeed. 9million without any social amenities,insecurity,and cruel and greedy leaders is not worth it.Mind u, i am a nigerian pathologist working in USA.earn about $15,000 monthly,and under 35.

Cry, my beloved country!

"The secret of your lush life in my country is safe with me." Wow. I loved this. It was so real and so true. Great work. More palm oil to your elbow. I hope to see way more of this.

Truth be told, if one have his way, our greedy leaders deserves the hottest part of hell for the bitter suffering they put our beloved citizens through, may the Lord have mercy. Arah de bros !

Ol boy whats your problem? Hang in there according to NTA news Nigeria just got into the UN Security council. It cant be that bad!!!!!!!!!

For all of you mouthing salaries, how much is your tax, mine is 19% and it is still considered very high back here, and remember I spend in naira not dollars so eventually I still save more! U talk as if ppl haven't been out of the country. I travel and see how my country men live, and I shake my head bc it doesn't have to be like this, one finishes a master's degree and works as a supermarket attendant or store assistant and you tell me that it's ok to live such a mediocre life? u pay huge sums on various taxes and have to actually go out of your way to make sure you save, u live in a country (europe especially) where u are judged based on the colour of your skin and can only dream of having some jobs and u say I should live there b/c 'things work'. How will Nigeria ever progress if u don't stay and put in your two pence to bettering the nation? little drops of water do make an ocean!Come on ppl, Victor does have a big point. PS: As much as i should let the salary issue rest, I can't resist the temptation to get more ppl talking, 9M was just basic at entry level, my allowances not included (no wait i just got promoted!), and we are not few, there are a fast growing number of "professionals" in nigeria.

Just to clarify, I am as frustrated with the leaders of our country as any body else. I am just as angry whenever I hear of the latest scandal involving billions of naira by politicians such that i have even reduced the frequency with which i watch the news lest I begin to sow seeds for High BP in the near future!! but that does not mean that I go do menial jobs outside the country and leave as a second class citizen. I have a friend who with a PhD is not given a job bc the jobs he wants are reserved for the contry's nationals, another who was told that he was over qualified with his master's and previous job experience. Nigeria don dey better o! slowly but surely we are getting there, NEXT is a case in point.

What a showoff you are Ngz. Hope you are working reeeaaaall hard to justify that pay. My twopence worth do walk in the shoes of other graduates before you yak. Your PhD friend did not get a job cos it was reserved for nationals first [that's a country where things work], and you think it would have been different for him here in Naija if he had sent in an application and an american with only a Masters had sent in his? if you say yes, then you are even more deluded than I thought. What is mediocre if a job takes care of your needs and with planning afford you chances to invest for your kids future and your dotage? Isnt that all we ask for in Nigeria? if we had that would we leave? ignorant chit..