Over the years, I have sat by and watched as strangers, female bosses, friends and family, fought their weight, not because of the adverse effects of being overweight, but because thin is ‘in'.
It is fashionable to be thin and they sought approval from their men. Most times these women were not even FAT, but they felt the need to be waif-like.There was my friend Ndali, who was a size 14, but sought to be a size 10 because she loathed being 14.
After dinner and just before bed, she would take laxatives, because her boyfriend Obiajulu, told her that if she overstepped 14 and ventured into 16, their relationship would be gone with the wind.
In order to keep Obiajulu, she sometimes put her three fingers down her throat after dinner to push up the food she had eaten. She went down to a 12, Obiajulu still left, for reasons not related to BMI (Body Mass Index).I have never really understood the need and reason for women to worry about their weight and dress size, and what men think of them.
If one man is not attracted to you because you're orobo, then some other man will be. One man's meat is another man's poison. It all has to do with personal preferences as a human being and simple logic. Some like lepa others prefer orobo. Wherever you fall, se ope tie.
According to Wande Coal's song: See this lepa ton bad o, see this orobo, ton bad o! He did not limit it to one BMI; he acknowledged that there are orobos and lepas. If God had made the world full of thin people, won't the earth have been a very boring place? That's why we have all sorts of people.
All we should do is try to maintain a healthy lifestyle instead of going green with envy each time we pick up a copy of Vogue and see Daria Werbowy wearing the coveted Herve Leger dress or Victoria Beckham sporting a pair of R&R jeans. We should gravitate towards Sophie Dahl, a plus-size model discovered by Isabella Blow.
So it beats me when, during lunch (some people don't eat lunch anymore), all the ladies are looking at one another's plate. This happens often in my office:Ene: Somto, are you eating for two? Are you wolfing down the whole ofada rice on that plate?Somto: Yes why? Do you want some?Ene: Pity yourself! Abi are you not a size 14? I am sorry for your boyfriend. Are you going for a sumo wrestling competition?Somto: It's none of your business and besides, I don't have a boyfriend.Ene: How will you find one when all you do is eat the entire ofada rice in Nigeria?Somto: Mind your business.
Did I mention that Ene was drinking a mug of green tea with boli for lunch?A colleague was getting married and she told all the girls in the office that, to be on her bridal train, the fattest of them had to be a size 12.
And did I tell you that because she was marrying some Lagos big boy, all the girls in my office had to stick to a diet? And she said that the dresses would be made only a week to the wedding to ensure that they complied and that her husband-to-be, who looked like Yokozuna, said the sight of FAT girls nauseated him!
What impudence! A male colleague said he preferred lepa because lepa will definitely (according to him) become orobo after one child, but that orobo could never become lepa unless by divine intervention. I would really like to know who set the boundaries /limits for the BMI of women.
The men who do this are usually pot-bellied and overweight, but women never complain. Is it the size of their wallets that compensate for this? Why can't we ever be satisfied with our looks and weight? Why must a man with grosser imperfections set the limits for my weight? And is weight loss a guarantee for finding true love or holding down a man, or better sexual prowess?
I am so politically minded that I Googled all female presidents from across the globe and these women are not even fashionable or thin. If anything, they come across as ‘FAT', from Angela Merkel of Germany to Tarja Halonen of Finland, Ellen Sirleaf of Liberia to Luisa Dias Diago of Mozambique (with her hideous hairstyle), Vaira Vike Freiberga of Latvia to Michele Bachelet of Chile.
The only piece of jewellery that often adorns their necks is the pearl necklace and they usually have no earrings on. Plus they all wear short hair! Their BMI is the least thing on their minds as they crisscross the male dominated political terrains of their countries.
So why should the man who has the body of Buddha or the supermodel, Giselle Bundchen, be the yard stick for measuring the general BMI of women? Or have we forgotten the Ramos sisters, Eliana and Luisel, who died of malnutrition in Montevideo?If a man won't take you as you are, then he is not the man for you. Period! I suggest we sisters forget about our BMI and quit looking malnourished and stop squeezing into clothes that are not our size!
If you are lepa, good luck and congrats. If you are orobo, Wande has told you that you are an orobo ton bad o! So whatever your BMI, walk with your head held high because the world is at your feet!
Do you have a fashion rant of your own? Please send an 800-word piece to elan@234next.com, for possible publication on this page.
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