My sister-in-law told me recently about an incident that happened at an airport. At the check in counter, a young lady leaned over to fish for something—presumably travel documents in her roll-on bag. In the process of doing so, she exposed a little too much.
My sister-in-law was with her mother, who hastily (and kindly, she thought) formed a human shield to keep out prying eyes, simultaneously whispering to the lady in question, that her underwear and a good quarter of her bottom were on display.
Young lady stops briefly to roll her eyes in irritation, steps out of human shield—to ensure continued exposure—and continues to rummage through the contents of her bag, saying rudely, loudly and confidently, “I’m aware!”
I thought nothing of this until a few weeks later; I was at the food court of The Palms with a friend and our respective kids.
As we struggled with finding seating space, two very tall, extremely skinny, young and rather outlandishly dressed young ladies, sporting badly sewn in, bright blue weaves, in cropped tank tops, skin tight skinny leg jeans atop fluorescent yellow plastic stilettos, complete with plastic jewellery, walked in and made a beeline for a bald middle aged man of Middle Eastern descent, who I had noticed earlier acting rather obnoxiously by grabbing the service girls and attempting to communicate with them in Pidgin English. He kissed both of them hello—and by kiss I mean a full blown kiss with tongues intermingling—one after the other. Each one giggled on cue once her ‘allotted’ time was over. They looked even more chuffed than Baldie.
At this point I had just about had enough of this. After all, was this not one of the few child-friendly places in Lagos? Last time I checked, I did not see any parental advisory stickers at the entrances to the Mall. But the drama was just unfolding.
Girl A pulled out a bar stool and plunked herself on it, revealing her ‘goods’. As my friend and I were debating whether the unfortunate show was intentional or not, a waitress quickly motioned for her to pull her trousers up. Like déjà vu and a scene out a bad movie rolled into one, I saw her mouth move seemingly before the words came out: “I’m aware.”
I was stunned. Not so much at the reaction, but the choice of words. She could have said I know or mind your own business. She could just have glared angrily at the advice and ignored it. But she didn’t: she said she was aware. And she said it in such a chirpy tone. That, I thought, was more than a coincidence…
Sexually revealing or provocative clothing is now so common in Lagos that girls hardly get a second glare with their breasts spilling out of clothes and G-strings on display riding two or three inches higher than the waist band of jeans.
It’s no rocket science that globalization and the ‘MTV effect’ have influenced the way young (and old) ladies choose to dress themselves. When we are able to view dumbed-down, reality shows live, young impressionable people inevitably feel the need to replicate the fashion trends on display, whether or not they are appropriate for or conform to our culture and traditions.
Before you mistake this for a sermon on respectable dressing or before I am mistaken for an advocate of the downright ridiculous and quite frankly unconstitutional ‘Act to Prohibit and Punish Public Nudity, Sexual Intimidation and Related Offences’ aka the Indecent Dressing bill which advocated a six-month jail term for anyone found guilty ‘indecent dressing’’, think again.
I really believe all human beings have a right to express themselves in whichever way they choose—if you choose to clad yourself in leather from top to toe in 30 degrees of searing sunshine, please be my guest. If punk or Goth rocker chic is your thing, please feel free. You might get stares, and the likelihood of being approached by a well-meaning pastor to ‘remove the demons’ is high.
So what is my point? Just be prepared to live with the consequences.
If you want to show off your underwear and/or private bits, it’s a free world. If someone who isn’t obviously as hip as you are points it out, use the new IT words, I’m aware. That should put them in their place.
What you must not do is the ‘adjusting syndrome’, where there are permanent fingerprints from adjusting your boob tube or skinny jeans so frequently. You must also not be upset if okadas collectively throng around you and call you ashewo. Nor most you be offended if people, tempted by what’s on offer, decide to touch! After all, you are aware!
Do you have a fashion rant of your own? Please send an 800-word piece to elan@234next.com, for possible publication on this page.
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