Living in Bondage

A few months ago, it seemed that the Herve Leger bondage dress was the ‘it’ outfit. On fashion blogs all over the Internet, celebrities from Beyonce to Halle Berry were decked in this tight fitting, curve-hugging dress.

It came in a variety of colours—from pink to yellow—and different lengths too. Some seemed to go below the knees while others barely covered the behind. It seemed that this dress was here to stay, as just about every female star had rocked it on one occasion or another.

I was not surprised when this dress hit Facebook. Of course the average girl would want to own this adored fashion staple, though not with the same price tag that folks like Victoria Beckham bought hers for. We wanted the same look but for a cheaper price.

This was where shops like TopShop, Miss Selfridge and H&M came in. They sold similar versions of this dress for a fraction of the price. Of course my Nigerian sisters raided these stores and bought their very own bondage dresses. With every new album uploaded on Facebook, there were a dozen girls attempting to pull off their newly acquired ‘dress of the season’.

If only it was that easy! It is one thing to pay for the bondage dress with your credit card, and quite another to wear it successfully. I think the dress should come with a ‘DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME’ warning stitched in somewhere at the back, near the label.

This dress hides no bulges or unwanted contours on the body. It is fitting to say that this dress fits like a second skin. There is simply no room for imperfections. But some of us are very courageous, to the point of being foolhardy.

Some wore the dress even though it made them look like Santa on a bad day. Some put on this dress forgetting that we do not all have that perfect figure that models like Heidi Klum maintain even after just putting to bed. How wrong they were. How wrong I was!

Of course I figured that I was going to be smarter than the other girls who, in my opinion, wore the dress carelessly. How could they not wear spanx while putting on the bondage dress? I hissed at their guts while I went to buy my spanx.

Haha, I thought to myself, the people at that party were not ready for me! When I stepped out in my dress, their eyes were going to pop out. I couldn’t wait to wear my dress. I was just too excited.

At last, the day came. I carefully put on the spanx, and then stepped into my dress. I could feel the jealous eyes on me already. I was going to show those girls how the bondage dress was meant to be worn. Perhaps I could wear it almost as good as Beyonce.

The first sign of trouble popped its ugly head. My stomach did not look flat enough. But I had skipped lunch AND dinner. I wondered what the matter was. Maybe when I put on my stilettos, everything would be fine. I carefully wore my shoes, all the while studying my reflection in the full length mirror in the hall.

Nothing changed, I noticed sadly. What was wrong with this dress? I couldn’t blame it on my body, no sir. I had worked so hard at the gym the past month and my diet had been mainly granola and yoghurt for the past three months. I thought I was quite fit; maybe not super model size but fit all the same.

Time was running out. It was getting late. I had to make a crucial decision. Do I go out in this dress looking not quite like my girl Beyonce as I had hoped, or do I quickly change into a less demanding outfit? Too many questions, too little time!

A part of me insisted I wear the dress. I had worked so hard for this dress, there was no reason I should change my mind now. So what if I did not have the ‘perfect’ body to rock it? What was even the ‘perfect’ body? What made my figure any less attractive than Madam Beyonce’s? I listened to this part of my brain that scolded me. Where were my guts, it asked me? Did I have a self esteem that low? NO, I found myself replying.

So, my dears, I put on my dress and strutted out. When I got to the party, I had a great time in my ‘it’ dress but posed for no pictures that could creep up on Facebook. I was confident but not that confident. Ha! Don’t judge me!

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