Not your average toy shop

"Women hardly climax that way," Uche Edochie writes, in response to an anguished reader who wants to know why his sexual partner can not seem to achieve orgasm. "You must combine penetrative intercourse with continuous clitoral stimulation." This is the kind of advice the business owner, Mr. Edochie, dishes out weekly in his newspaper column titled, "Sex: frequently asked questions."

But unlike the myriad of other ‘agony aunts' in Nigerian media, Uche doesn't just talk the talk. He owns Zee Virtual Media, an online store that sells adult sex products.

Yet, that is only one difference. The other is how well informed and responsible he is with the information he dispatches.

His purpose is to sell the wide (and impressive, really) array of sex products he has on offer, from lubricants and edible underwear, penis enhancers and vaginal wipes, to dildos and butt plugs. He also carries a selection of sex education books and films.

But that's not all. After launching the business in February 2009, he went on a media blitz that sought to establish the perception of a respectable businessman, with a mission to give help in an area where Nigerians cannot easily find any.

"It was all about winning the trust of the people," he says. "You just don't show up without warning and dump all these foreign adult products on people.

Not at all. You have to subtly announce your arrival and prepare people's minds before revealing the content of your store. Of course, in the beginning, I got the occasional text message telling me that I should repent or burn in hell fire and stuff like that. But before too long, I stopped receiving such messages."

Informal training

First and foremost, a painter with a respectable portfolio of exhibitions and clientele, he studied art at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, 12 years ago (and no, his specialty wasn't nude photography). In 2000, he was commissioned to do a portrait of Olusegun Obasanjo who was president of the country at the time.

Customers may be surprised to find that he is a "stable family man" who has been married to the same woman (who is also involved in the business) for 14 years. The couple has three children. Mr. Edochie has had no formal business training.

"I got my own education online," he says. "Isn't the Internet amazing? Everything is there. I studied and researched this business a lot before I went into it and still do.

I studied other sites extensively, studied their services and range of products, and understood the broad categories of products and the importation options before taking a dive.

I read the FAQ pages of every site I came across to confirm what products worked and also to understand the psychology behind selling such sensitive products to a shy audience. I also knew that the cultural differences between the West and Africa would make it impossible for me to sell the exact same things over here in the exact same way." And he knows his stuff.

"White women, for instance, love pink vibrators and other pastel-coloured toys," he reports with a straight face. "Those are their colours. Black women, on the other hand, love black vibrators and earthen-coloured products."

Business is business

His was a determination to run an open business like any other entrepreneur.

"When you have such a huge and ambitious goal designed to permeate as many households as possible, you cannot keep your efforts secret," he says. "What for? Why? There is nothing to hide. That is what people are yet to understand about the adult business. We have legitimate information and products for adult consumption. Why would we hide it?" His website, gives full details on products, their uses and costs. There is also a ‘Frequently Asked Questions' link where Mr. Edochie guides clients through making choices.

"Don't use the erection pills if you have diabetes." "Please pull off the cock-rings after 15 minutes to aid blood flow back into the organ." "Sometimes, all you need is patience to make her ‘cum'." One click and your order is made.

Zee Virtual Media's personnel courteously and politely contact you with details of delivery (any location within Nigeria), and the delivery person is as discreet and as confident as a NIPOST mail worker. .

Helping people help themselves

No question, if in a few years, Nigerians become comfortable with the words ‘lubricant', ‘Pheromone' and ‘Penis Enhancer', we would have Zee Virtual Media to thank - or blame.

For all his ‘no-hiding-place' bravado however, Mr. Edochie's business has no physical presence - no place for the morality police to throw stones or set aflame. But his reasons for this are purely strategic.

"I structured it that way because it is the best business model for the nature of products we sell," he insists. "Think about it. Even the boldest people still feel uncomfortable walking into a pharmacy store to order condoms. Nobody likes anybody knowing their sexual plans and intentions like that.

And then, if you really think deeper about it, you will realise that this embarrassment is one of the major reasons sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies are on the rise."

Sexual healing

"My woman now has a new respect for me!" writes an excited reader in an email to Mr. Edochie two weeks ago. The source of this orgasmic declaration? "I last more than 10 minutes now!" Giggle all you want, but the young man joins a long list of hundreds who, monthly, get a little sexual healing from Uche Edochie "The patronage has exceeded my expectations, especially considering that we are in a recession," he confesses, with a smile. "I guess people take their love lives seriously under any circumstances. Well, good for me!"

A glossarry of sex accessories

>>Butt plug - n. A sex toy designed for anal penetration that has a flared base. Usually smaller than a typical dildo and not shaped like a penis

>> Cock ring - n. A device, often a leather strap, placed at the base of an erect penis in order to restrict blood flow and maintain an erection.

>> Dildo - n. A cylindrical sex toy, often shaped like a penis, used to pen-etrate the vagina or anus. Usage note: A dildo generally refers to a toy with no moving parts, as opposed to a Vibrator which includes an electric motor and vibrates.

>> Lubricant - n. A slippery substance used to make sex more comfortable and pleasurable like KY Jelly.

>> Pheromone - n. A sexually arousing chemical substance that is secreted into the air by many kinds of animals, including possibly humans.

>> Pocket pal - n. A sex toy shaped to resemble a vagina

Source: WWW.SEXDICTIONARY.COMNot