Help, my dad's on Facebook!

Remember the good old days when kids were kids and grown folk were grown folk? Well, I kind of long for them again. It's funny how we can't wait to grow up but once we attain adulthood, we crave a return to innocence, as it were. A place where the ready excuse, "kids will be kids" was always only a syllable away.

When we were kids, we were sequestered to our own designated areas away from adult terrain, preferably within sight but out of earshot. We craved these sacred moments to be ourselves and let loose our true personas because sooner or later, our little island would be overrun by adults causing us to ‘form' and act all innocent. Kids being kids.

As we grew, our island evolved from playgrounds to Ikoyi Club to house parties to nightclubs and so on. However, as technology advanced, we've moved from e-mail to web chat to online communities, with Facebook being (arguably) the most popular of all. Originally available only to North American college students, Facebook eventually opened its doors to the World Wide Web. This set the tone for all sorts of socializing, from professional connections to basic friendship and unrelenting tomfoolery.

It was paradise for all where the power of the written word or posted image brought individual characters to life. Facebook provided a place where you could be you, or somebody else if you choose; young, fresh and new like Kelis once sang.

And then, just like a bad movie on the action channel, it happened - the invasion! At first, it seemed like a joke, then it became cute, before morphing into absurd then downright disturbing! We finally had a place to call ours where rules were few and freedom was king. We felt safe. Secure. Like, ‘finally, I'm free!'

But it was always too good to be true. Remember that party way back when the girl finally loosened up and warmed up to your juvenile advances before the music suddenly stopped, you heard your name called out and were informed that your mother was outside, to immense ridicule from your peers (and those you felt were beneath you, mind)? Remember that betraying intrusion into your sacred space? Crossing that fine line? It's back!

Here's where the nightmare begins... you login to your page to new friend requests. There's one from that guy you could never stand at school.

Ignore. There's one from a guy/girl you swear you don't know but he's/she's kinda good looking. Accept. Then, you freeze... you stare at the screen in disbelief.

While you're still trying to make sense out of what sits on the screen before you, you get e-mail notification, an IM (instant message) and a phone call all at the same time. e-mail's from your brother, IM's from your cousin and phone call's from your friend. All bear the same message: "I just got a friend request from (your) dad!!!"

This may seem funny but it could be traumatizing, setting you back a decade or so! ‘What's he doing here???' All of a sudden, you're a kid again and you're uncomfortable. You nervously slide the cursor back and forth from ‘confirm' to ‘ignore.' A million thoughts run through your brain. Then you remember your latest status update: ‘Son is a pimp by blood, I get my swagger from my daddy!'

The question resonates: ‘What's he doing here???' You think about his friend list. My uncles and aunts? My friends? A bevy of nubile ‘younglins' I don't have the pleasure of knowing? A whole bunch of emotions overtake you. He's spying on me. He's refusing to accept he's old. My friends will think it's cool.

It ain't! He may have more friends than me; more female friends to be precise. Facebook is no place for somebody his age. This is so not fair! WHY IS MY DAD ON FACEBOOK???

Here's the irony though. Growing up, you want to prove to your parents that you're an adult, that you belong. You can hold meaningful conversations with them like you were their peer. You're all grown up.

However, if the Facebook phobia is anything to go by, then this is just the updated version of ‘forming.' You're one person before them and another when they're not. Your playground has been invaded once again and the kid in you is quick to react (or recoil as the case may be).

Truth is, anybody can do whatever they want to. It's their prerogative. However, we contradictory creatures feel there are some unwritten laws that need to be obeyed whenever it suits us.

We make fun of parents not being ‘Y2K compliant' when they ask us to help check their e-mail but once they get proactive and get in on the hottest trends, we change our tune. It's only human nature after all, which does have an animalistic bite to it. Catty things, we people, eh?

However, in fairness to both us and them, there are just some things neither side really needs to know about the other! Facebookers' penchant to share TMI (too much information) is likely to induce LOL (laugh out loud) funny scenarios where both sides are taken aback by their online behaviour.

Just imagine:

Dad: Is that how you dress to parties???

Daughter: What did you mean by that post on Linda's wall?

It is the combined recipe for chaos and companionship. It is a world all its own within this world we live in. So, the way we co-exist on planet earth, is the same way we should in cyberspace... at loggerheads with each other; agreeing to disagree till death do us part.

The world is changing before our very eyes and there are some things we just have to accept. Obama is President, economies are crumbling and my dad is on facebook.

Face it!