Kevin and Jenny were best of friends.
What Jenny didn’t know was that Kevin’s love for her had crept into romantic territory.
But he didn’t tell her; he assumed she would see the signs since he was always there for her.
Being a beautiful girl, Jenny had other men seeking her hand in friendship and of course for a committed relationship. She always told Kevin of her experiences and they would just laugh over it.
But when Alex came to Jenny, the story changed. Jenny could not help but fall in love with him and they soon became romantically involved.
Fool’s paradise?
She happily confided in her best friend but the news devastated Kevin. The woman he loved had betrayed him, he thought. He feigned happiness, telling her he was pleased she was in love. That incident changed everything between them as Kevin started avoiding her.
He told all who were willing to listen that Jenny broke his heart. A heart Jenny was not holding in the first place. Because Jenny was really nice to Kevin and shared her thoughts with him, he believed she loved him.
While he was still living in a fool’s paradise, someone else came and took away the woman he loved.
If Kevin had expressed his feelings to Jenny he would have known right then what the future held for both of them. He would have saved himself the anguish.
This is just one out of the many instances of misplaced love. It is not only applicable to men but also women. Many of us mistake mere friendship for love.
Go ahead and ask
We expect someone to feel something for us just because we feel something for them. But loving someone does not guarantee their loving you in return. We happen to cause pain to ourselves by merely assuming. If you have feelings for that friend of yours and you are not sure of his/her feelings towards you, ask.
Some people might find it embarrassing to ask such a question, but it is better than being trapped in an illusion. Also, if you have romantic feelings for a close friend of yours; do not expect it to be reciprocated.
There are also cases when you summon the boldness to express your feelings and then they start avoiding you. I think that action only lets you know their “answer” and you can get your friendship back on track by simply telling them that whatever their answer is, you both will still remain friends.
Some people even believe that what they are feeling towards a close friend is romantic love and so when they notice a member of the opposite sex getting close to the friend, jealousy sets in. Many go as far as speaking ill of the intruder just so the friend doesn’t give them a chance.
It is best to try something, and face the disappointment of not succeeding than not to try it and end up in misunderstanding and the apportioning of blame that follows.
Tell that friend how you feel and hear the response right from the horse’s mouth.
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